Short Story

I tried to write a humorous short story. Predictably, it turned into low-grade erotica with a couple of jokes spliced in. You may find the ridiculousness of it all amusing. Here is the opening paragraph.

It is Friday night and Kristi, Kristina, and Penelope Anne are going through their usual preparations for yet another "girls night out". In their bra and panties, the pre-going out tickle fight is in full swing. They all have magnificent 32C tits, which are also enjoying the activities, jiggling and bouncing about as the girls chase each other around the room.

If you want to read the rest it is here.

Stupid

At the gym today I had a shocking revelation. While I am doing a set and struggling to get the last repetition completed, I say to myself "Come on baby". I have probably been saying it to myself for years, but it just hit me today how absurd it is. I refer to myself as "baby" while performing physical activities; I guess I am going to have to live with that.

Living in South Florida I hear a whole lot of stupid every day. I am pretty much immune to it. For instance, a girl talked to me for 5 minutes about how much she likes the color pink. I know what you are thinking "why didn't you just punch her in the throat". Well I do not hit girls, and I am completely desensitized to stupid whore talk.

In fact you have to be able to speak fluent whore and a little Spanish just to get around in South Florida.

Hahahaha just kidding my So Fla chica. Holla! Get your eagle on! I wish my girlfriend was hot like you. A ella le gusta la gasolina! Como le encanta la gasolina!

Drunk Driving

Some things are just inherently cool like smoking, heroin, pink shirts, and Steve Guttenberg. Drunk driving is also high up on that list. It is basically a rite of passage into cooldom (so is using the term cooldom by the way). Only the coolest celebrities get DUIs like Nick Carter, Tracey Gold, and Chris "Motherfuckin" Klein. Those are only the ones awesome enough to get caught. If you needed any more convincing that drunk driving was super cool, did you know there is a whole organization of mothers against it? Everyone knows moms are super lame, so if you want to be a nancy mamas boy/girl go ahead and don't drive drunk.... pussy.

I have driven drunk many times. I feel I owe it to my bumper to give it a little workout. I have done curb checks, wall checks, parked car checks, bike rake checks, and killed someone (don't worry I am pretty sure it was an immigrant). In all my nights (and days) of drunk driving I have never had to drive drunk on a highway. Until last night that is, and let me tell you, like a woman registering to vote, it scared me.

Hurricane Trina Is Da Baddest Bitch

I have to admit it I am hooked. I cannot stop reading/watching about this Katrina situation. It is definitely one of the most significant events of my time. Right up there with 9/11, the fall of the Berlin wall, and P Diddy dropping the "P" thus becoming Diddy.

If you are going to donate money for the victims of Katrina check and see if your company offers matching gift plans. Large companies will match their employee's donations to charities, so with a little paper work you can essentially double the amount you are giving.

These are the best sites I have found outside of the major news outlets.

MgNO.com - This is the blog of a Spec Ops guy in New Orleans. He updates it often, and even has a web cam (to my surprise is wasn't showing a nude college girl). I almost joined the army right after reading this post: