Strip Clubs

I hate strip clubs. Now I know what you are thinking "But John you are the most heterosexual guy in the world and you probably have a huge penis." You are too kind, but that has nothing to do with why I hate strip clubs. The easiest way to explain it is through an analogy.

I am a hunter. I have been on safari and slain many majestic creatures. How could I possibly enjoy going to zoos? Zoos where sad broken animals walk up and take my money. I cannot even bust a few shots at them without the zookeepers dragging me out back and roughing me up.