Handjobs

My friend proclaimed that handjobs, or as they are known on the street "Jackos", are the next blowjobs. Now most guys would get agitated at someone claiming that HJs are replacing their beloved BJs, and try to lynch the offending propagandist by his testicles. But he is my friend, and besides I found it humorously absurd. What my friend needed though was a sound argument as to why handjobs are the next blowjobs. Saying, "they just are" or "the kids on the OC are doing it" is just not going to justify making this claim.

Luckily for no one I am a master logician. So, I used my skills to construct an argument. Here was my thought processes.

• Lets see handjobs are becoming more popular than blowjobs. This is not true, but how could it possibly be true?
  
• Handjobs would need to be better than blowjobs in some way. But in what way are they better?
• They are not they are worse... much worse!
  
• (Moment of genius)
  
• Shazam! That is it handjobs suck!
  

My argument: You see we can all agree handjobs suck. Why would you want a girl jerking you off when you could do it better yourself? That is the whole point. You are not supposed to enjoy it. That way when you masturbate it feels that much better. After you experience a bad handjob, you appreciate how good you are at it.