March 31, 2005

RIP Mitch Hedberg

A great comedian died today. And no I am not talking about Terri Schiavo (though she was pretty funny also). I'm talking about Mitch Hedberg. I like my comedy like I like my cocaine. Supplied to me by a hippie, in one-liners.
Sorry to see Mitch Hedberg go. Here are some quotes from his act.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said "I hear music." As if there's any other way to take it in.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

There are too many to list. Search for others if you want, or buy his CD. The point is he was hilarious, and it sucks that he is dead.

posted by John 3:30PM