March 5, 2005

Peeing in the Dark

Last night at around 4 AM, I got up to go to the bathroom. I did not want to switch on the light, because that always sucks. I figure I know what I am doing when it comes to pissing. Besides, I can vaguely make out the shape of the bowl. So, I go for it.

I don't hear splashing. I panic. I swing hard to the right. Moisture splatters all over my leg. I swing back to the left. I am still hitting porcelain. I clench my abdomen, desperately trying to stop the flow. Finally, I compose myself and slowly ease back to the right. I find water.

My toilet, my floor, my leg, are all covered in piss. It was a bold experiment, but it failed. I had to turn on the light to clean up.

I am sure this could be seen as an analogy. I am sure there are probably a few life lessons to be learned from this tale.

But I leave you to ponder those cause I gotta pee.

posted by John 2:24AM