August 7, 2005

Lets Go To The Movies... Drunk

Is there anything better than going to the movies shit-faced drunk? Yes many things. However, like a hottie having a good time, it is pretty fun.

Everyone knows that being drunk makes just about everything better. For instance the joys of fucking, singing, and driving all drastically improve when drunk, especially when performed simultaneously.

Movies are no exception. They are far more enjoyable when you are retarded drunk. Hell, if I go to the movies without a few in me (and my trusty flask at my side), it gives me a funny feeling, like a clown is molesting me.

Not only are movies more enjoyable when drunk, but being drunk makes you far more qualified to judge the quality of the film afterwards. Qualifications being based upon who can express their opinion the loudest, with the most saliva being excreted per statement. For instances here were some of my top movie reviews.

Me: "That was funny as shit! The ending was very slow though. Kinda a let down."
Friend: "Dude you past out with like 30 minutes left, we kept having to wake you."
Me: "Whatever, I past out because it was slow."

Spiderman 2
Me: "That movie was awesome!"
Friend: "Really? I didn't like it. What did you like about it?"
Me: "Hmmm I don't know."

Wedding Crashers
Me: "Oh man that was so funny. There were some really funny lines in that movie."
Friend: "Yeah it was hilarious."
Me: "Do you remember any of them."
Friend: "No"
Me: "Me neither. I'll have to look them up tomorrow."

In conclusion, I like to get drunk. Whoop! Whoop! Holla back!

posted by John 11:24PM