February 7, 2005

I'm Talking Porn

I was talking with my roommate, and we started talking about porn. Apparently, he uses the same porn I do.

I use the free 8 or 15 second (sometimes 30 if your lucky) clips that porn sites provide. For those who do not know (you fags and women out there) there are sites that collect links to all the free video offerings, and then puts them on one easy accessible page. Anyway, my roommate asked if I had seen "Bang Bus". I had, and I told him it was old, and then I started listing all the other "series" I have seen. The list started getting longer and longer, so I decided to shut up less I am construed as some porn freak. Thinking about it now I do not really care what people think, so I am going to list all the porn "series" I can remember off the top of my head. I have also had a couple of drinks and have not watched any of these porn "series" in at least the last 48 hours. This may hinder my performance, but hopefully I will pull through like TO in the Super Bowl. You are the man 81!

The aforementioned Bang Bus
Cum Fiesta - "What's the password? Fiesta!" Every porn should have a catch phrase like this.
Big Naturals - I do not particularly like this one. Usually the girls are fat and ugly. They sacrafice looks for big natural breasts.
Up in the VIP - This one is pretty good. It reminds me of Miami. I think that is where it is filmed. Fucking whores in the VIP.
Mike's Apartment - This has some of the better-looking girls you will find in these free clips. We are suppose to believe that these girls are fucking on camera to get to live in the apartment rent free for a week or something. Yes I do read the story lines.
European Sex Party - European girls are hot.
We Live Together - The two main girls are both getting fat. Well one was fat to begin with, and now the other one is trying to catch up. Lose some weight you dikes!
Capt. Sabian's(sp) Anal Adventures - This guy is hilarious. He takes whores out on his boat then fucks them in the ass.
Peter North - I do not like his stuff his wang is just to big. I cannot pretend it is me railing these whores when they are riding a fucking donkey dick.
Blacks on Blondes - Not very good. They put out a ton of clips too. I guess you like this shit if you are from Compton.
MILF Hunter - This one has been around for a while. I like it. Keep it up MILF hunter you rock.
First Time Auditions - Sometimes these are pretty good. "Sweet" "innocent" whores.
First Time Facials - About the same as the previous one. It may be made by the same folks.
Cum on my Glasses - Not very good. Kind of funny. Take that all over your glasses, nerd whore.
Brutal Dildos - I do not like this series. Too extreme for my tastes.
Street Blowjobs - Not bad. We are supposed to believe that a guy is getting "the girl next door" to blow him for a few bucks.
8th Street Latinas - Pretty good. I think most of these porns are made in South Florida. Maybe its Cali. I have never been there so I wouldn't know.

That is all I can think of right now. I know I am leaving out people, and I am sorry. I want to shout out my man with the eagle tat, who is in most of these "series". He is the hardest working man in the free porn clip market.

Remember all you porn stars out there, you have 8 to 15 seconds to show me something, make it count.

posted by John 12:15AM