October 27, 2005

Hurricane Wilma

Hurricane Wilma blew harder than a hooker on a deadline, and ended up sucking worse than a 13 year old with braces and an overactive gag reflex.

I have pictures of the damage, but I am now a refugee like Wyclef, actually I am more like Praz, either way I cannot upload pictures. Luckily I am a master of descriptive prose. I will now paint a vivid picture of the carnage with my skillfully chosen words…. Shit got fucked up.

The first day after Hurricane Wilma I went around looking at how bad other people’s stuff got messed up.

The second day I wanted to go loot the Wal-Mart down the street. Unfortunately there was a line of looters a block long, and when I finally got in they made me pay for the stuff I was looting. It’s a damn good thing thirty bucks for a microwave is such a good deal.

On day three I started stinking. I smelt like Pakistan, and I was ready to leave.

If you want to do anything to help you can send ice, and by ice I mean diamonds and crystal meth.

posted by John 9:53AM