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Greatest Boy Band Ever

What is awesomer than anal sex?... BOY BANDS! Though the two are not mutually exclusive.

Every boy band seems to have one member that stands out above the rest. Imagine if the best members came together to form a super boy band. Here is what it would look like.


Joey "Deez Nutz" Fatone - The consummate ladies man Joey Fatone's rise to stardom was inevitable. With a couple of other guys, Joey formed a group known as "NSYNC". Joey's immense talent shown through on every track, and his stage presence was magnetic. Besides being an incredible singer, dancer, and performer, Joey is also a master of woman pleasing. Women are drawn to him, and he is more than happy to accommodate almost all of them. Take heed if Joey's dressing room is a rockin don't go a knockin, unless you want 8 full inches of talent stuck up in ya.


Howie "The Taint" Dorough - With his all American good looks, and breathtaking heinie Howie was destined for greatness. He started a group called the "Backstreet Boys" and quickly drove them to stardom. In his spare time, Howie enjoys touching his taint, and promoting taint awareness through various taint related foundations like ahhh... the Red Cross or something.


Justin "Cunnilingus" Jeffre - Born (with mostly male parts) in a small town somewhere, Justin often dreamed of stardom. His big break came when he discovered that he was incredibly talented. He enlisted the help of a couple of other guys to give him a hand with all the talent he was carrying around. They called themselves "98 Degrees". An interesting side note. Justin loves to perform cunnilingus. He was once honored with an invite to Buckingham palace to eat out the Queen! Make no mistake about it girls, when Justin is around you should just strap a saddle on his face cause you are going for a goatee ride.


Trevor "Ass Clown" Penick - America fell in love with Trevor on the hit ABC show "Making the Band". This is where we got to witness Trevor's divine dance moves for the first time. So agile and aesthetically pleasing were Trevor's movements that he made the band with ease. He even got to choose the groups name "O-Town", which is a cleverly devised reference to the female orgasm. More God than man Trevor's greatness is hard to quantify.


Danny "I've got" Wood - The first truly great boy bander. Danny exploded onto the scene with a group called "New Kids on the Block". His sharp striking features, and classical beauty immediately made him stand out. But Danny was more than just a piece of eye candy; his keen mastery of harmonies, melodies, and that other music stuff, really set him apart. Danny is also an accomplished lap dancer, and will often invite a fan on stage for a freebie.

You know a lot of people think boy bands are all about ass grabbing, and reach arounds. I would be lying if I said that wasn't a big part of it, but in some ways they are also about music. And I for one think that this boy band would make some of the sweetest music ever (the reach arounds wouldn't be to bad either wink wink).